


You Can't Run from the Mirror's Truth

by StrawFairy



Series: What's Perfection? [1]
Category: Death Note (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Gen, Internalized Homophobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-31
Updated: 2018-05-31
Packaged: 2019-05-16 15:23:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 786
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14813934
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StrawFairy/pseuds/StrawFairy
Summary: Light is the perfect son, he’s smart, handsome and polite, there’s no doubt a lot of girls are behind him, even older ones. But that’s doesn’t interest Light, even when he had a couple of girlfriends on his middle school days. Most thought -even himself, that it was because he’s too serious and he’s still young so is normal. But that’s not the reason, is simply that Light doesn’t like women at all.





	You Can't Run from the Mirror's Truth

**Author's Note:**

> this is basically a fic of Light realizing he doesn't like women, he freaks out a lot

He closed his eyes, and prayed to all the sacred things that this would work. He was desperate, he didn’t know what else do _.  _ This had to work, he needed this to work, it was his last resort. He had already tried everything else, he remembered his late date with his now ex-girlfriend

 

“So you like it here?” He asked the girl named Ayumi.

 

“Of course! Because I’m here with you Light!” Replied a smiley Ayumi, she had a pretty face and a nice body, but he just couldn’t like her, she was… just  _ not his type _ . 

 

That was the great question, what was his type? This girl was the third girlfriend he had had that year and he still couldn’t feel anything when they were on a date. They chatted happily for a while and at seven Light walked Ayumi home, they kissed one last time and Light prayed that he would feel something this time. 

 

He didn’t feel anything with the kiss, even when he used his tongue to play with Ayumi’s. So he decided it was enough, the next Monday he broke up with her. 

 

And here he was, that same day praying his last resort would work. 

 

How could this not work? What kind of man doesn’t like women? Not a normal one, that was for sure, and he’s normal after all, wait no, he’s not normal, he’s perfect. He  _ has - needs -  _ to be perfect, he’s Yagami Light, …Yagami… I’m ga-…  **NO,** no. That’s not true, that can’t be true, why his surname had to be Yagami? why couldn’t it be  **anything** else, like Matsumoto? that would have been way easier, maybe this wouldn’t be happening now. 

 

Who was he kidding? That didn’t mean anything, it was all in his head. It’s not like his parents and Sayu were like that, they were normal, they were perfect. He needed to be like them, he would do anything to be like them. Maybe go to a psychologist… no he couldn’t afford it, and he couldn’t let his parents suspect anything, after all he’s supposed to be perfect, why would he need a psychologist? It would be a shame to the family. He had to do this alone. 

 

He breathed and let out a sigh, this wasn’t going to resolve anything. He took the magazine and sat on his bed, he opened it and looked intently at the perfect bodies of the models in different kind of bikinis. 

 

Nothing. 

 

He tried again, this time he put one hand on his crotch and tried to stimulate it, looking intently at the boobs of the women in the magazine.

He tried to imagine these girls in bikinis sucking his dick, and masturbating with their breasts. He let out a breath and tried to maintain that image on his head, “Please let this work,” He prayed. “At least a little bit of interest or embarrassment, anything but  _ indifference _ please.” He really needed this to work.

 

It wasn’t working.

 

Oh god, it’s true. He’s a weirdo, his life is ruined. 

 

He throws the magazine at the closed window in a rage. Why him? Why him from all the people on this planet? Could he just switch this condition to someone else who wouldn’t care? Could I cure myself of this? After all of the things he had to do, all the studying, all the tennis, all of it was for nothing? “Really life? you had to fuck with me that hard? All my hard work to be perfect wasted! Is all trash now! I will never be perfect now!” Will this mean he can’t be a police officer anymore? Of course it means that. Who would let him enter now? He would fail the psychological test, no one wanted weirdos. 

 

What would Sayu think of him? She would think he is disgusting. He would lose his little sister. He could see her face contorted into a disgusted expression, the only expression he would ever see again. And his parents? They would be so disappointed and disgusted with him, what if they disowned him? Why if they made him change his name and threw him out of the house? 

 

No, he can’t deal with this, he can’t let anyone see how disgusting he was. Light sighs in frustration, he can’t do this, he just can’t accept it. He needs to escape, he can’t, he just can’t. 

 

He has to run, now, before someone discovers this. 

 

He opened the window and breathed heavily, he even considered just jumping out the window, but refused to let this get the better of him. So he climbed onto the window sill and used the nearby tree to get down and onto the street. 

* * *

* * *

 

**Author's Note:**

> thanks to my amazing beta Darkwoods for edit this, you're the best <3


End file.
